I Left My Husband.

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I Left My Husband.

Post by SmellyCheese on Fri Mar 25, 2011 8:49 am


SoooOOo I left my tool of a husband. I pretty sure he was gay, when you ask a woman to fuck you in the ass with a strap on that makes you gay, right? Right.

I've gots a new boyfriend now, he's me with a penis. The sex is phenomenal. I win.

How are all of you bitch niggas? affraid
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by uhoh on Fri Mar 25, 2011 9:52 am

sucking goats and shit
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by SmellyCheese on Fri Mar 25, 2011 10:07 am

Indeed.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Garrett on Fri Mar 25, 2011 12:57 pm

that's not gay, but I wouldn't be surprised if you did leave you husband.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by SmellyCheese on Fri Mar 25, 2011 1:05 pm

I really did.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Robo-Pussy on Fri Mar 25, 2011 1:13 pm

You're all about the alimony.

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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by gnarkiller on Fri Mar 25, 2011 1:16 pm

Now you can post tit pics!
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Garrett on Fri Mar 25, 2011 1:32 pm

SmellyCheese wrote:I really did.

I don't believe you.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by winterborne1 on Fri Mar 25, 2011 2:40 pm

sorry we bailed on your board. and sorry your husband turned out to be gay. it happens i guess
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Contra on Fri Mar 25, 2011 5:37 pm

this was predictable.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by NOT MONGO on Fri Mar 25, 2011 5:48 pm

how do you approach your girlfriend with that kind of request? better yet, how does your anal cavity being pounded feel good?

dont get me wrong, i like to drop a nice shit here and there, but seriously: a strap-on?
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Garrett on Fri Mar 25, 2011 5:53 pm

Massaging the prostate feels good.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Soylent Brown on Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:30 pm

Congratulations on the being happy thing!
It's pretty awesome that everyone seems to be having great sex since the board broke.... hmm

NOT MONGO wrote:how do you approach your girlfriend with that kind of request? better yet, how does your anal cavity being pounded feel good?

dont get me wrong, i like to drop a nice shit here and there, but seriously: a strap-on?
If that's what you're into how do you not approach them?

Anal's not the most comfortable thing, but it could be good? maybe?
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Robo-Pussy on Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:46 pm

Rim jobs I will never understand. I used to work with this dude who swore by them. He lived to give rim jobs. Also he loved to dispense golden showers. He thought the rest of us were freaks because we found it gross.

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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Soylent Brown on Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:48 pm

what's a rim job?


It's conversational if I ask rather than google.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Robo-Pussy on Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:49 pm

tonguing someones asshole.

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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Soylent Brown on Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:50 pm

that's hot
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Anthony Fremont on Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:52 pm

Ale, I'm reporting you to the SPCA for putting that lime on your cat's head. Anything citrus is extremely acidic, it's the equivalent of dumping sulfuring acid on your cat. I arranged a protest a few months ago to ban all oranges, lemons, limes, grapefruit, and all other citrus fruits from shelves because their acidic nature is a detriment to the environment.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Soylent Brown on Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:53 pm

Oh shit that wont be good.

ex-animal services employee arrested for 3 counts of animal abuse.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Anthony Fremont on Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:54 pm

Oh yeah, and your department is being shut down too.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Soylent Brown on Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:56 pm

fucking shit.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Anthony Fremont on Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:58 pm

fucking shit is right

shit just got real.

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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by chingon on Fri Mar 25, 2011 7:45 pm

Smelly, sounds like you did the right thing.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by ukdangermouse on Fri Mar 25, 2011 8:19 pm

gnarkiller wrote:Now you can post tit pics!

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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Garrett on Fri Mar 25, 2011 8:23 pm

I'd consider a rimjob if the girl was particularly clean. not getting one though, because then I'd have to kiss her afterwards, and she'd have had her tongue all up in my asshole.

as for assplay, I like it. Ive never had anyone else do it to me though, and I don't know that I could take a dildo up there, but I can sort of understand why it might feel good.

I don't know why y'all are so prudish.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Anthony Fremont on Fri Mar 25, 2011 8:53 pm



Last edited by Anthony Fremont on Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:15 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Whitey Bulger on Fri Mar 25, 2011 9:01 pm

In a male homosexual relationship, who is more gay: the top or the bottom? Is the top more gay for wanting to penitrate a dude? Is the bottom more gay for getting arroused from having a man inside him?



Also, strong no homo

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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Anthony Fremont on Fri Mar 25, 2011 9:04 pm

Cat's eyes glow in the dark when they're looking for milkshakes, firearms, and warm hairspray
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Garrett on Fri Mar 25, 2011 9:08 pm

I don't know why any gay person wouldn't be both top and bottom.

but, sticking your dick in something is more hetero than getting poked by a dick.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Contra on Fri Mar 25, 2011 9:20 pm

yeah, if we're going by ancient roman ways of looking at sex, then the one getting penetrated is the "gay" or "feminine" one. this works for fellatio as well.

although they didn't really distinguish between gay and hetero 'cause there was a whole lotta male on male love going on in general
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Toothbrush on Fri Mar 25, 2011 10:46 pm

It's only gay if you leave the lights on.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by uhoh on Sat Mar 26, 2011 3:32 am

It feels just like fucking a chick when you take it in the ass in the dark. So i hear
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Soylent Brown on Sat Mar 26, 2011 5:49 am

I'm actually very uhm weirded out that Smelly would divulge such personal shit about her ex. it's... not right, man.

What you're into sexually shouldn't be used a retribution or shit-talk, not when it was shared in a very intimate setting.
now im nothing wrote:I'd consider a rimjob if the girl was particularly clean. not getting one though, because then I'd have to kiss her afterwards, and she'd have had her tongue all up in my asshole.

as for assplay, I like it. Ive never had anyone else do it to me though, and I don't know that I could take a dildo up there, but I can sort of understand why it might feel good.

I don't know why y'all are so prudish.
I don't see a problem with either.

I thought I was the prude.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Robo-Pussy on Sat Mar 26, 2011 12:36 pm

Poop disgusts me. It really freaks me out. Hence I really don't want anything to do with the asshole. In that regard I'm probably the abnormal one.

So I'm not the only one who find's it pretty trashy to be talking about the ex-husband like that... Unless he really fucked her over, it makes her sound pretty cold.

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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Garrett on Sat Mar 26, 2011 12:54 pm

Theyre still together.

I see them on fucking Facebook, having chicken dinners and shit.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Soylent Brown on Sat Mar 26, 2011 3:32 pm

I've been craving fried chicken for a while.
Robo-Pussy wrote:Poop disgusts me. It really freaks me out. Hence I really don't want anything to do with the asshole. In that regard I'm probably the abnormal one.

So I'm not the only one who find's it pretty trashy to be talking about the ex-husband like that... Unless he really fucked her over, it makes her sound pretty cold.

post-shower is clean, it kind of cuts out some of the spontaneity sometimes or I guess you learn to have a strong stomach? we've spoken about this before! now I remember.

No, not at all. Even if he did fuck her over, to a point that's kind of untouchable. If she accepted that part of him (what do I know) or pretended cool, then that's fucked up. If that's what broke it off, well it's fucking terrible but makes sense to talk shit about.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by chiaro on Sun Mar 27, 2011 5:30 am

Anthony Fremont wrote:
best part of this topic

the rest of it wasnt a shocker

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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Jesse on Sun Mar 27, 2011 5:45 am

you're a liar!
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Re: I Left My Husband.

Post by Garrett on Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:15 pm

haha, get it?

shocker.
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Re: I Left My Husband.

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