Relationshit

Yesterday Jessica cried on my bed for hours before getting mad at me for not caring that she was suicidal and running out.

Earlier in the day, I helped her clean and she got final confirmation that she was hired, she spent about 6 hours playing Xbox, and I had just returned from getting us dinner when she says her parents will take us to dinner.

I don't want to eat with her parents, or be in an applebees. Her parents kicked her out with screaming and hitting about 2 months ago when I was forced to take care of her and be with her almost all the time. This was a struggle, but I didn't want to get in the middle of family and I cared for her. Now she has good news and they're back to celebrate and go wine tasting, and I'm some sort of asshole for not being on board with that.

I haven't spoken to her since last night. I really think its over. Suicidal depression is a deal breaker for me.

well fuck.

has the depression been going on for a while and worsened recently or began since her uncle? wait, wtf she was kicked out?

its been going for a while, it's worsened recently, and her uncle dying hasnt helped.

she had an argument with her parents and her father threw a tupperware box at her and told her to get out. since then, whenever her parents are in town she stays at my house. she did, anyway.

everytime you talk about your personal life i feel like i just began watching the 15th episode of a 24 episode season. you say things all matter of factly like we're supposed to already be acquainted with the who and what of the situation. it makes me lol...

^lol

The Writer wrote:its been going for a while, it's worsened recently, and her uncle dying hasnt helped.

she had an argument with her parents and her father threw a tupperware box at her and told her to get out. since then, whenever her parents are in town she stays at my house. she did, anyway.

How long before she starts working? Maybe if she enjoys it she'll feel better? <- Sounds naive but hey worth a shot?

Has she gotten in contact with you yet? Have you?

How "suicidal" is she? Is she talking about it, considering it, tried it? Do her parents know? Maybe they can help put her through therapy.

It's fitting that I should regard my personal life as a television show. I did recently refer to passing the one year mark as season two. I also just write these for myself, for reference, and because it helps me to get the facts straight.

She texted me, I had her come over, we talked about it. I said my shit straight. She basically agreed.

Apparently she had stopped taking a certain medication that treats her depression a while ago, but she can get back on that. That was a problem before also when she had gone off it. It nearly destroyed our relationship twice.

We decided, well, I decided that we were going to take a step back and basically not live together the way we had been. That really only started when she got sort of kicked out. It wasn't a decision I had made.

Training starts wednesday, and I think work and her medication will bring her around, but I need some more time to myself at the moment, so that's how it is.

yay!

"relationshit" is a great word